201

4.28.14: 1

Today I actually spent a lot of my time back posting/running/stringing cranes (which will make sense when in a moment's time).

4.29.14: 5

Above is one of the cranes I folded today.  Below is a project I've been working on for two weeks now????

Before...

I started by drilling two wholes in the ceiling. (We'll keep this between us and not my apartment complex-ok not going to lie, I typed the previous sentence and the power to my computer shut down, but all the other lights in my place stayed on. The apartment gods are apparently not happy with me...yikes...I hope the can appreciate something unique and kind of beautiful if I do say so myself and forgive me...pretty please...)

This was my initial test below

This is the (almost) final product.  

I just have to trim the rope and strings. 

I hope you love it as much as I do.  It's the ultimate dream catcher in a way-200 cranes to protect my dreams at night.

TOTAL: 201

(I seriously don't know how this happened...I'm in a little bit of shock that I'm just over 1/5 of the way done! 

I just might do this...)

The definition of insanity

I've heard this many times and even lectured others a time or two on it's validity. The definition of insanity (or crazy, or stupidity, or insert your own limiting thought process approach to life) is doing the same thing again and again expecting different results. The would be the equivalent to me following the steps to fold a paper crane expecting it to produce an elephant in the end. 

And right now, I am guilty as charged. 

In my last post I called myself out on not keeping up with my blog, yet I have produced the same outcome. I didn't change anything. I followed the same behavior.  And here I am over a week later, really 10 days would be a more accurate description, finding myself playing the same catch up game. Should I make excuses about my week? How draining and exhausting it was, for what? Your sympathy? Your pity?

I. HATE. pity.

I need to be a different person-for more reasons than some of you could understand right now. The words don't really matter. The actions say everything. I need to be that person that stops complaining and does what she says. And what she wants.

What do I want...
Or maybe the more important question for me is: 
How do I say what I want?


4.20.14: 9

I have a face-off on my mind apparently. 
Feeling like one against many sucks.


4.21.14: 12

Moving On....
My mom is here and it's great to show her what I've been working on. My inner-child is very content right now.


4.22.14: 15

My stomach is officially in my throat today. The waiting seems endless. I look to my left and can't imagine why someone would wear jeans and sneakers to the courthouse. 

But an amazing late breakfast fixes everything, right? I would definitely go back to Keke's. Though the single orange slice cracks me up. Did you put it there to allow me to convince myself that this is a "healthy" meal. HA! I don't play that game. This whole thing is going in my belly and I can't wait!

4.23.14: 5

Something may be brewing...apparently I come up with crazy ideas at my stained glass class.  

All will be explained in good time...

4.24.14: 2

4.25.14:6

Today is my dad's birthday. I love him. I was talking to him about his plans for his birthday and going through my mail. I came across a card from my aunt and had to hold back tears so my dad wouldn't know I was crying.

My aunt sent me a picture of us that she has on her desk. A picture 28 years old. In her card she said she wished she had been a better aunt to me over the years. In that moment I couldn't ask for a better aunt. And I hope she knows that that is not true. I showed the picture to a friend and she commented that, "it looks like she thinks the world of you." That was the feeling I felt as I reread her card. 

4.26.14: 4

4.27.14: 1

 My dining nook before...

 ...during...

...and after IKEA. 
Their drawings with the directions always make me smile!

Total to Date: 195

141

I knew it has been a while since I have updated my progress, but 8 days...holy moly it's been too long! And so, my goal for this coming week is to do better. After all, I can't do much worse!

THE NUMBERS:

4.12.14: 9

4.13.14: 2

4.14.14: 1

I wrote a note to friend on a white piece of origami paper. I cried. I folded it up. I colored over it with blue and gray. I miss my friend. It's a glass orb that is slipping from my hands and I don't know how to catch it before breaking on the floor.

4.15.14: 3

I needed a different approach from the night before. I created drawings on these papers without thinking-I made art just to make art and not to say something. It found a soothing rhythm as I worked and I think the colored ended up reflecting that.

4.16.14: 2

I made these from an envelope. They make me think of summer. Being outside in a meadow in West Virginia. Feeling care-free.

4.17.14: 1

I was thinking about connections. Two hearts have to travel the right path to find each other. The drawing was simple, but I think there's something beautiful about it.

4.18.14: 2

Another doodle turned into a crane, as well are a card from my cousins.

4.19.14: 5

Today I finally was able to get a package my mom sent me from the leasing office at my apartment. They have had it since Wednesday, but because the office closes at 6 pm and with work and other obligations I had to wait until Saturday to pick it up. I love my mom! She always seems to know just what I need. Just a few days ago I ran out of origami paper...and she sent me three packs! Enough to make 90 cranes, WOOHOO! I already opened one and tested it with a piece of lavender paper with a floral design. I should also clarify, that besides know material and tangible things that I need, somehow my mom knows what I need emotionally. Something as simple as a package sent in the mail, so that for a moment I can feel like a kids again unwrapping her gift.  To know that she was thinking of me, that's all I really needed.

TOTAL: 141

(For all you math people, that mean's I'm 14.1% done!)

An unexpected loss

4.9.14: 1

total: 102

Unfortunately, I don't have anything from my stained glass class to share. The class has been "postponed" due to low enrollment.  Hhhhmmmmmm....this is officially an Ariel the little mermaid blow-your-bangs-as-you-sigh-with-exasperation kind of moment. And yes that's the technical term. 

On the upside, I was able to take an exercise class for free.  A friend recently introduced me to the barre method-a combo of ballet, yoga, and pilates. And I am in LOVE. I took a few classes at Barre54 and could see a noticeable difference in my stomach and legs within a week and a half. I go in thinking, this will be cake, I used to take ballet and I run. Halfway through the class my right leg is shaking uncontrollably.  They call it "quaking"...like an earthquake. Well, this was off the Richter Scale! HA! It was such a strange experience and I'm totally addicted.  However, I'm not totally rich, and the classes are usually around $20. 

No. Thank. You.

So when I stumbled across Barre3 and saw that they offer free classes led by instructors in training....SOLD! Where do I sign?!?

4.10.14: 2

total: 103

You might be wondering, how is the total 103 if the day before it was 102 and I made 2 more cranes??? 102+2=104, not 103.  Here's how:

Me: Mas, did I leave a crane here?

Mason: Uggh..yeah, but I threw it out

Me: WHAT?!?!!?

Mason: It was on the corner of my desk and I spilled water and it got wet. So I had to put it in the trash.

Me: WHAT?!?!?!!

(after a moment of processing)

Me: You killed my baby!

Mason: It was a mercy killing.

I really didn't know what to say. My brother did make me laugh, which helped a lot. But I was sad because it was the cranes from 4.8.14 which was more personal than a majority of the cranes I've made so far. But that one just wasn't meant to be at that time. Maybe it's time will come again later.

 4.11.14: 13

total: 116 

(I might be having too much fun photographing these guys)

The pictures acting as the bread for this text-sandwich are some cranes already counted, but for different reasons are some of my favorite babies so far.  I especially love having them on display next to my spirit figure from grade school (don't worry, I'm sure I'll blog about that at some point too, but for now just know it's a good thing).

It may not look it, but there are 116 paper cranes on this chair. And yes the chair is gold. It's from The Greenbrier, a four star hotel in West Virginia where my grandfather hung wallpaper in the 1950s. Stolen? I'd say permanently borrowed. The Book Theif has nothing on my grandfather.

untitled

4.3.14: 3 cranes

total: 75

4.4.14: 1
total: 76
This is one of those days where I almost forgot to make a crane. My day was very full and all I wanted was to rest my head on my pillow at the end of a long week...but I must say, I love this picture.  And the fact that I was able to balance the crane on my alarm clock on the first try was unexpected, but greatly appreciated.  

4.5.14: 3
total:79

4.6.14: 7
total: 86
I ordered some more paper and it came in the mail today! It is so beautiful in person, the pictures just don't do it justice. The colors are vibrant, the outlines have a metallic shine, and the weight has a thickness that is still easy to fold. It almost feels like you are touching fabric for a moment. It's just too bad there was one seven pieces of paper in the pack.

4.7.14: 14
total: 100!!!!!!
I fell into a rhythm birthing cranes while I watched a movie. I have folded 100 cranes. I folded 100 cranes. I think I can actually do this. I'm surprised that I have reached 100 so quickly. I told myself I would start to display them when I reached 100. So, looks like I have a project for the weekend! YAY!!! 

 I think it was sort of kismet that on the day ended up folding my 100th crane I saw a crane type of bird earlier in the day in a parking lot. Birdie, how far were you from home? How rare are you that you let me take 6 pictures of you only 3 feet away from you? How comfortable was it to stretch out your neck like that?

4.8.14: 1
total: 101

 

I used a ripped piece of notebook paper today. I folded it, unfolded it, covered it on both sides with words "self love," "she's come undone," and "rebuild." I tried not to think about what to write for too long. The phrase "she's come undone" is the title of a book my mom once read and had on in a cabinet in our living room for as long as I can remember. I can remember reading the spines of the books in the cabinet and always wanting to read that book. The title had that magic over me that every author dreams of. It sucked me in with a strange ethereal quality; normal I would consider coming undone to show weakness or to fail at something. But whenever I read that title I imagined it as a woman finally finding her freedom. And I wanted to be that woman.

When it becomes more than a doodle...

***I started this post on Wednesday but unfortunately ran into some issues with my internet mid post and was unable to publish it.  The sigh/groan/grumble that came from my mouth was quite it's own species***

About two months ago I started taking a stained glass class. Once a week for two hours. It was my escape. My heaven for six weeks. When the class ended I was in the middle of my second piece. I debated what to do, I couldn't really afford it, but I wanted to take the class again. Well, that is until one of the other "students" told me "you have to do what makes you happy." And then I knew I had to take the class. I had to finish my project. And I had to make more.  

So, tonight was the the first night back. I spent probably an hour and a half at the station, grinding down the pieces I had cut. It was AWESOME! I don't know what it is about this process, but I get so completely lost in it. 

This (above) was the grinder I used for an hour and a half to finish smoothing the piece below.

For now, I'm just going to share the visual, the story behind it needs it's own post.  But this is something I doodled all throughout grad school and it's finally becoming something MORE!

CLOSE up

I started foiling the edges.  You have to do this to be able to solder the pieces together.  

It's going down next week! Ahhh, YESSSSS!!!

today's cranes: 5

total: 72

NOTE: I thought folding the thicker pink and red paper from "a moment of bliss" was tough, but now I think the more fragile polka dotted tissue paper is more challenging.  However, I could definitely see playing with the thickness of the paper I use more.

a moment of bliss

today: 1

total: 67

How do I type words to describe such pure joy that my mouth created a smile without even thinking about it?  I guess that's why there is art. I swear I felt it. Felt it in my heart. I put my hand to my mouth and found myself getting choked up.  

And so, a pink and red striped crane for a vibrantly content heart.

And all because eight of my students stayed after school for extended time on a test. It melts my heart when I get to see their effort to be better.

We can always be better than yesterday. I have to remind myself that tomorrow.